Relationships aren’t easy.  They shouldn’t be.  For a relationship to be successful it’s got to be a constant work in progress.  When it gets to be too easy and the relationship starts to turn south, it seems like now more than ever people are giving open relationships a try.  Why? Hell if I know. I am not a fan of open relationships in the least bit. For so many reasons I think that open relationships are a ridiculous way to prolong an already dead relationship.  Here are my reasons why if you’re in an open relationship you should just close the door and move on.

My whole rant on open relationships started while I was on the way to work the other morning and a crazy woman on the radio was saying that her marriage was so wonderful and her husband has had 4 mistresses in the 16 years that they’ve been married. My first thought - WTF, that woman is crazy.  She kept on about how great her marriage was and that was partly because her husband was allowed to date other women on the side.  After the crazy woman quit talking I was kind of sad for her. She honestly believes that her marriage is a good, solid, stable marriage. I just don’t see how that is possible when you allow your husband to openly see other people.

If you’ve been in a relationship for a significant period of time, it’s only natural to want to stray away if the passion that excited your relationship in the early days has started to die.   By suggesting an open relationship, I think people are looking for an easy way out. Rather than working on the things that are starting to go south, when you have an open relationship you are coping out and having a comfortable relationship with one person and a new, exciting relationship with someone else on the side.  An article from YourTango suggested that affairs can help your relationships and again all I can do is shake my head.

Just by suggesting an open relationship, I think that the relationship has made a turn for the worse. It means who ever suggested it doesn’t want to work to make your relationship better, but simply looking elsewhere for what they aren’t getting from you.  You can try to justify it by saying that they just want something different, but why aren’t they happy with what you’ve got to offer?  If they want to stay with you because you can provide them with everything but what they can get from this other random person, they’re pretty much telling you that they won’t work with you on fixing the parts of your relationship that could use a little improvement.

Bottom line - if you’re in a relationship that is great, but it just happens to be an open relationship where your other half can see other people if they choose to,  it’s probably not really that great. If it were so wonderful would they really want to have another person to take care of what you can’t - whether it’s emotional support, sex, or just company. If you’re ever dating someone and they suddenly suggest that they want an open relationship, tell them that they can’t have their cake and eat it too then run far far away.